Speak to Tony A

Domestic Violence and the Church by Tony Andres

By Tony Andres

I remember this woman coming to my office with her eyes in tears and almost speechless for the events that happened the night before at her house. I ask her to take seat in the couch which she did. She took one of the pillows form the couch and embrace it like security blanket. She looked so fragile and breakable that broke my heart and make feel incapable to do something for her for the first time in my counseling profession.

I had seen this same demeanor in many victims of DV so many times and shouldn’t be surprise about this woman but this case was different, because it was too close to home. This woman was (still is) a member of my church and I had seen her with her family Sunday after Sunday at church and they appear the happiest family.

Last night..she said… my husband pushed me against the wall and hit me…he call me names and humiliated me…He was mad because I was late from work… he didn’t want to listen my explanations…It was my fault because I should call him….I always do..Don’t know why last night I didn’t do it…he’s a good men and he didn’t mean it…it was an accident.

Sounds familiar for some of you? This happened few years ago and back then I thought that this was an insulated case because a church person knows better. However, in the past 3 years many couples from church have issues with Domestic Violence. My clients coming from church had increase. They want confidentiality more than anything. The problem is hidden in the church and pastors and Sunday school teachers need to address this issue that hurts so many families.

God loves everybody and forgive all of us but the rhetorical question is; is God ok with Domestic Violence among his people? People believe that is ok to suffer abuse in silence and they have the guts to mention the Bible to backup their beliefs. However, the churches, pastor, ministers in general don’t want to talk about this issue because they are afraid people will be offended. We have a responsibility to God, to the people we pastor and to society.

Tony Andres

THE JOURNEY OF RECOVERY

By Tony Andres

Recovery is a Journey we must take when something terrible happens to us. Recovery is very important for every person, which for some reason had a setback in life. Things like physical illness, financial stress, emotional breakouts, divorce, death of a closest person to us,  among many, needs recovery process after such events.

Alcoholics and drug addicts lose everything as they abuse not only drugs and alcohol, but also the love of those around them. Recovery needs hard work and a good portion of faith and hope if they want to succeed.  

Recovery is need if the person wants to return to the “good grace of those people they abandon and abuse and betrayed their trust”. However, recovery must be visible to those people they want back in their lives.  Recovery must be taken seriously for those who offer counseling or guidance, or therapy to the addict and alcoholic. There is not best or better way to offer recovery but the truth about their destruction of their lives and those they sincerely love but because their addiction they abandon.

Is God needed for recovery? Yes, we must have God or higher power to help us to take the Journey of recovery. We need family? Yes we do, because when the family is involved in recovery, encourage the addict and alcoholic to work harder. We need a network such as church, 12 steps meetings? Yes, we do, because a support group will help us to understand who we are and to understand where we were before and where we going. Seek help, and don’t be afraid to ask for help because your life and the life of those who love you might be in jeopardy.

Tony Andres

tonyandres@hopengrace.org

www.hopengrace.org

Faith and Anger Management by tony andres

By Tony Andres

Faith to believe, faith in something we don't see. Faith is the action to believe in one event that lays somewhere in the future, the conviction that at some point in our future will happen. Anger is a feeling and emotion that rides on us from our day of birth till the day we die.

We might ask ourselves what faith has in common with anger. Uncontrolled anger seeks the accomplishment to find or to get what the person want immediately. An anger person expects to accomplish what they want trough out the display of anger towards anything or anyone. Anger hurts everyone, while faith is the one that maintains the hope alive on those who suffer the wrath of anger to believe that one day these people be able to understand their anger and turn around and do what is needed to change their actions.

We must have Faith to  believe on those we love because our faith Will help them to understand the reality of their behavior. We can increase our faith when we pray to our personal God or higher power or when we see others with similar problems change their actions. those that have learn to control their anger and now they understand how damaging their action were in the past.

When we have faith, we can believe in the impossible. We can see what some people never would see. We just need to pray and wait patiently, because faith make miracles happen.

Don't give up, keep believing and have faith and hope for a better future for those we love and cherish because When men give up, faith and hope allows God's miracles.  

Tony Andres

Director of Hope and Grace Inc

www.hopengrace.org